"Are You Going to Walmart?" & "Do You Want Kids?"

Anyone who has entered the online dating world knows that you have to have a sense of humor, or it’ll eventually annoy the crap out of you. Well, even if you do have a good sense of humor, you find yourself saying, “What the fuck?!” often. It’s been a month, and I’ve hit that point. For example, this one guy, we’ll call him “The Texan”, didn’t receive a reply after a few messages. So, he sends me his phone number. I don’t reply or call or text. He messages, “I’m still waiting on that text.” I still don’t reply. Naturally, the next thing you might do is comment on one of my photos (a professional vintage-esque photo): “I'm interested to know the story behind the outifit...or were you just going to Walmart for the day?” I actually said, “What the fuck?” out loud, then started laughing. Obviously, he can’t handle subtle rejection.

Moving on... this other guy, we’ll call him… hell, I don’t know what to call him. I haven’t exactly encountered this before. The defensiveness of men, yes, absolutely. But, this guy just straight up asked me mid-message: "I was wondering do you want kids? I do want a family in the future." Then, sends another message saying that he’s sorry for being so blunt, but he doesn’t understand my profile selection of “Not Sure” when asked whether I want kids. I’m all for getting things out in the open, but I really had to step back and scratch my head.

What alarmed me most was that I somewhat got the impression from Man A that he was wondering about that too; though, he was way more subtle and I may just be reading into it. Side note: I had a third date with Man A, but I will save that for another time. Anyway, I feel like there's been this sudden shift in gender stereotypes, if that's even the right term. I mean, guys/men usually run the other way when they can smell “baby fever” on a woman. I didn’t think that would be the case when a woman is unsure of having kids.

Unlike a lot of women, I suppose, I don’t feel my biological clock ticking at 29, and I don’t get all crazy around babies. In fact, I’m not sure what to do with them, and I really don’t like other kids (with the exception of a niece or nephew surely, but I don’t have one). And, for the last year+ I’ve been single. I’ve enjoyed waking up whenever I want, not having to consider someone else, or ask someone else for “permission” to do something. After awhile of being single, you start to get used to this freedom, and it’s hard to imagine a man and a child all of a sudden.

Call me crazy, but I know that I do not want a child without a husband. I will not be visiting a sperm bank and parenting on my own. No, thank you! I just haven’t met anyone who makes me want to start a family. I don’t doubt that that could happen, and if I met the right guy and he wanted a family (with me in particular), I’d start a family. But, I just haven’t met him.

I guess I understand a bit of what men may feel when a woman has “baby fever”. Besides the whole “I still want a life thing, and I don’t even know if I like you yet” part, I don’t want to feel like a baby-maker… like I’m just an oven to incubate your little mini-you. I’ve somewhat felt that before, and even on men, it’s not attractive.

Sadly, in the back of my mind, I’ve wondered, “Do I change my status to ‘Someday’?”