The purpose of this blog is simply to ponder the craziness of love and dating. I imagine some people may view this as overanalytical, and I used to feel guilty about my constant ponderances. However, now, I believe it's just human nature to want to date. I mean, it's hard not to think about it. We're constantly surrounded by it. Every time I turn on the radio, it's a song about love. When I watch a TV show or movie, there's always some kind of love struggle at play... even in action movies! And I can't seem to go to the grocery store without overbuying - all the portions are geared toward families. Plus, it's what we're taught to do. Grow up, get married, have babies. Now, I'm not about to run off to Vegas with the next guy I meet, but it would be nice to have partner in crime from time to time.

December 17, 2015

Are We Gonna Do This or Not?


Well, well, well, what do you know, I posted something after almost a year. I suppose a quick update is in order. Since the last post, I left one job, began another more in line with my education (okay, completely in line with my education – this chick ended up at a law firm), and I moved back to Sacramento. In short, I’m happy with my job, I live comfortably and in the city I plan to settle down in, I love my neighborhood – I’m truly independent and ready for whatever is next.

As I mentioned in the last few posts over the course of a few years, I’ve felt really numb. As a result, I had little to no interest in dating. My last relationship ended well over a year ago, and until recently I hadn’t gone on a date for that same amount of time. I had opportunities, but just the idea felt like a serious inconvenience. Anyway, ever so slightly I’ve become more interested in dating. I had an unexpected, but nice conversation with someone who is so wrong for me; nonetheless, it suddenly reminded me how nice it can feel to share random thoughts with a man.

I’m not cured of the apathy, but I can feel some excitement here and there. Long story short, I decided to give online dating a try again… for the fifth-ish time. Oh, Lord, help me! I was somewhat excited to see what was out there after over two years of not looking. I recall from past experiences that it wasn’t an amazing process, but either I’ve gotten pickier or the pool has gotten crappier. See, I’m a quality over quantity type of gal. I suppose it’s nice to receive messages from numerous guys, but it’s a bit like finding a needle in a haystack.  I did, however, find one that has a lot of potential. Enter Man A (sound familiar?).

Man A and I have gone out on two dates so far, and he appears to be interested in me. I won’t bore you with the details because that’s not the point. The point is that I’m 20-fucking-9 years old, and want a gentleMAN. I hate playing guessing games, and I want a man who pursues what he wants… like right now. As much as I believe in gender equality, I also enjoy some of the gender roles when it comes to dating.

So all the annoying things that come with dating again brought me to read some of my older blog posts, and it’s funny because I actually started to feel empowered. I thought, “This chick is pretty awesome. She has some good points.” I was glad to be reminded of a somewhat painful reality – “If he isn’t pursuing you like he should, it’s because he doesn’t want to. A man who is really into a woman will pursue her.” And, I completely respect that. In fact, it’s kind of sexy… unless, he doesn’t know when to stop. Fine line, guys, fine line.

I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I do think I’m a decent catch. Slight tangent – I’m watching Barbara Walters interview Amy Schumer and she’s talking about feeling good naked, “I take my clothes off, and am like, ‘You’re welcome.’” I like that woman! My point - let’s not apologize for being awesome! Moving along…. So, I’m educated, intelligent. I have a good, stable job. I don’t need anyone to take care of me; I can do that myself (that means I’m with you because I want to be with you… imagine that). I will admit when I’m wrong. And, I’m not bad-looking.

In any event, I have no patience when it comes to dating. My thoughts – “Let’s cut the crap. Are we doing this or not?”

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