Please Hold

Since the last post, I went on one other date, planned another with a new guy, cancelled that date, and rejected two second dates.

So, Man D, was it? Upon meeting him, I immediately wasn’t feeling the attraction. I feel so awful when that happens. It makes me feel a bit superficial, but hey, if you’re ever going to procreate, the thought of jumping his bones has got to cross your mind at some point. I’ve definitely dated purely for personality in the past. Let me tell ya, it doesn’t work. You have to feel some kind of attraction toward the person if you want any hope of a future. To me, that doesn’t mean he has to have a six-pack or ocean blue eyes. After all, attraction comes in many forms. But, Man D, I just wasn’t feelin’ it.

About the same time, Man C asked me out again, and I declined. See, I have no problem finding crazy, insecure, or jerky men. The confident, attractive, supportive, God-fearing men… I’m convinced that there’s sign on my forehead that reads, “Normal men need not apply!”

And, remember Man A? Well, he’s texted me twice now. In the first text, he apologized for it being a while since he had made contact and said that a lot had been going on, and hoped I was doing well. After receiving no response from me, he texted last night stating that he felt he owed me an explanation. My first thought, “You mean, had I replied you weren’t going to tell me the truth?” Anyway, he logically explained that he fell off the face of the earth because an ex he had once wanted to marry came back into his life after our last date. But rest assured, she’s gone! Because he found out she was sleeping with one of his friends. And, now he has one less friend too. But, he totally understands if I have already moved on.

So, my second thoughts? “Oh, baby! I’m so glad you’re back. Yes, even after you ran back to your ex who, according to you, has a lot of psychological issues. I just love taking second place, especially when someone choses me only after he finds out his ex was screwing his friend. That's when I feel the most special.” I was busting up laughing when I read his text. “Oh, and by the way, I’m so glad you’re 30 and use text to explain your crazy-ass drama to a girl you still want to have something to do with.”

The most irritating thing is being lied to. I mean, don’t tell me you aren’t seeing other girls and are only pursuing me, then use excuses as to why you go incommunicado as an attempt to keep me as a backup. Have some respect, dude. Here’s a very critical piece of truth, ladies: if he’s not pursuing you, it’s because he doesn’t want to. It’s quite simple. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again - NOTHING will stand in a man’s way when he genuinely likes a woman.

My response to this experiment thus far is that it does make it easier to distinguish the decent men from the losers. As I said in the last post, it’s also helped to reinforce the respect I have for myself. I can’t tell you how good it feels to patiently wait for a man to prove himself… or disprove himself. How good it feels to NOT to throw all common sense aside and dive into a “relationship” with someone you don’t know. It feels so good to leave someone knowing I made no mistakes of my own and stuck to my convictions. It's very empowering.

So, I decided that the online thing has ran its course for now. In 4 months, I graduate law school. In 6 months, I take the Bar Exam.  I don’t need to take on the risk of dating drama during such an important time in my life. So, for now, I’m putting dating on hold.