Man A, Man B

I forgot a rule- and a pretty important one.

RULE 11: Do Not Accept Last-Minute Dates

·      A man should respect you… and your time.  I know, men aren’t planners. But, you’ll notice that during any good summer love or in any good relationship you’ve had, the man wants to be around you more and more. Some time during the week, he’ll ask you what your plans are for the weekend – NOT It’s 5 o’clock on Friday and you get a text saying, “Hey, wanna meet up tonight?” That’s fine after you’re exclusive, but you’re not a doormat who is ready to hang out at the drop of a hat. Besides, you already have plans, silly!

·      Personally, this can be difficult because I’m fairly spontaneous. But at the same time, I like to have an idea of what my weekend looks like ahead of time – the anticipation of a good date can get me through the workweek. Not to mention, I won't take a backseat. I'm not your backup plans, buddy.

I know these rules can sound harsh. But just remember that things slightly change when you two decide to become “official.” Of course, you can initiate phone calls to your boyfriend or do something last-minute.

As for my progress, I went on a date this week. We’ll call him Man B. I followed Rule 2 (Honor Your Dating Commitments). I didn’t really feel like going on this date, but I’m not a flake. He was nice, but I could tell immediately that I wasn’t clicking with him. I feel bad too because he asked me out tonight. Oh, look! I got a Saturday night date… with the wrong dude. Story of my life. Anyway, I had to decline: ONE, because it was last minute- he asked me out this afternoon; TWO, I know I’m not interested and do not want to go out with someone just for sake of having something to do. Damn you, morals!

Man A. Well, still no mention of a date. He did let me know that he’s busy over the next few weekends, but that he’s interested in seeing only me. I’m really not sure what to think (honest or BS?). Usually, the dates start to pick up by now or the communication picks up... at the least.  I mean, I also know what busy means and have still managed to make time for a new crush even if it wasn’t a Friday, Saturday or Sunday… like my last “relationship” – but look how that turned out for me. Ha! ...Meh. It is what it is. I’d like to see him again and learn more about him, but I’m just going to go on about my life. No sense in wasting energy on it.

Regardless of how things end, I always try to look at something positive I got from the experience. Man A – I feel like we’re equally yoked, which is so important to me… so, he’s able to encourage me through the trials and tribulations that come with being a Christian. I like that he’s able to play the role the Bible asks of a man – the role of spiritual leader. So, with him I became more aware that my relationship with Christ is just that – a relationship – and, any relationship will have its tough times. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.

Man B. I haven’t gotten to know him well at all. But, Gunthers was super busy, so we strolled over to Coffee Garden. I love that place. Anyhoo, I didn’t realize there was some random “talent” happenings on Thursdays. If I get super bored on Thursday, I can head over there, grab a coffee or tea, sit outside with funky talent on a warm summer evening under their mood lighting, and read a book. Sounds awesome to me!

This is also a point that Patti Stanger makes. Yes, dating sucks! But you can learn to enjoy it by doing things you’ve always wanted to do on the date. She suggests making a list of ANYTHING you’ve wanted to do on a date – try a new restaurant, whatever. Then, suggesting one of those things to a guy for a date. One thing I still really want to do is learn more about wine! I think I would find more wines I like (and, finally graduate to red wines) if I just knew what I was looking for. So, even if the date was a complete dud, I’d at least get something good out of it. Until next time….