Another Sabbatical

Good evening, ladies and gents. I'm having a blast right now dancing in my kitchen to some girly music while drinking some Menage a Trois and baking chocolate chip cookies. Yum! Never underestimate the simple things in life. I think the kitchen is my favorite place to be alone. And that's what this post is about - enjoying my own company. I'm actually doing another "Dating Detox/Sabbatical." I figured I could use some time to center myself. I want to find a way to get in touch with my feelings again. I know, a girl not in touch with her feelings, who knew?

So far it's been about 2 weeks. The first week, I felt a little lonely. I was asked on several dates, but as part of the plan, I declined. That may sound silly to most, but I'd rather make things right with myself before I go trying out any new people. And quite frankly, I'm not into anyone right now. I could also use some discipline. I'm fairly ruthless as it is when it comes to douchebags, but I could use some more practice dismissing those who don't meet my "non-negotiables" or being a little more honest when I don't like someone. Eh, that's always hard. 

This week is week two, and I'm feeling pretty fabulous right now. I really do like who I am, and I know how to enjoy my own company - but that's never really been the problem. I made a list of simple things that make me happy (cooking, baking, sushi, dancing, traveling, watching a good movie, being fit and active, enjoying a good cup of coffee, good conversations, fun activities, and massages). Last week alone, I ordered "Something Borrowed" and watched it with yours truly. Great movie! I experimented with a lemon, garlic sauce for pasta. Also very good. I baked a ton of cookies, as usual. I got a massage. Drank coffee and worked out- duh. I even went to a movie alone! I've always wanted to do that. It was a little awkward going and coming from the theater, but hey, I tried something I've always wanted to do. I also went to dinner alone. It was just the sushi bar, but still. The service was awful, so that probably won't happen again. Nonetheless, I challenged myself. Lord knows I like a challenge every now and then... otherwise, I get destructive... like pick a fight over something stupid. Yep, I've been known to do that. ;-) But this time is really about me and making me happy. There's pros and cons, but on the positive side, I do like not worrying about another person and how he may or may not feel about me. My anxiety is pretty low in that department, and it's so nice. And truly, if it's the right person, I shouldn't have much anxiety. Playing games is either a sign of insecurity or disrespect. Two things I don't want to deal with... two things I'm not dealing with right now.  It also gives me time to focus on school and friends. Though, most of my girl friends seem to have left me for men. Eh, what else is new with girls.

So, ladies or even you fellas too - if you find yourself going in circles, I highly recommend getting off that "sick cycle carousel" and giving yourself a break. It's really not that bad. You might even find that you enjoy your own company. :-)